Then the pain and the dilemmas start – the battle in my head to let things flow rather than anticipate what is coming next. The conflict that i know You can break me whenever You want, against the desire to last as long as i can to give You the most pleasure. The knowledge that You feel that You will never be disappointed by me helps so much and the privilege that i have in terms of You coming so close to me enables to me to draw on Your energy.
The extended standing position is one of my favourites, even though it has the disadvantage of my skin being stretched taut, which means i cannot shake out the pain and relax in preparation for the next stroke, which You know is important to me. Feeling Your single tail across my back is one of the most exhilarating experiences but so tough to withstand – again the mental battle is knowing that even when i have withstood one stroke, the next is coming and will be harder in Your quest to satisfy Your own personal desires to push my boundaries.
The scene on the table showed Your skill and creativity in non-CP activities – it was probably good news that i was blindfolded as those dreaded alligator clips would probably have had me screaming a bit earlier than i did! i loved the immobility created by the cling film bondage, and, as We/we discussed afterwards, that was particularly beneficial when it came to the chest whipping. Breath-play has always been intriguing to me as i do have a quick gag reflex and this was a good way to start practicing a calm breathing technique.
Then the moment of the chest whipping – this became real fear from stroke one of the quirt. i can remember looking at You as You raised Your arm and thinking what a beautiful image – i wish it could have been captured for posterity! Then it landed, so close to my already so sore nipples and what i thought previously had been fear was insignificant to what i now felt (although You promised not too land on my nipples themselves, and Your expert aim prevailed). In other sessions i had been caned on my stomach – or flogged on my chest, but this was something else. The move from the quirt to the cane initially brought some relief in my mind as i thought it would be used in a repetitive light style (stupid boy for trying to anticipate You!!!!), so when it again came down in a full stroke then i was done, as no doubt You can remember. It is difficult to communicate how slowly time goes when you are at your limit, knowing that, having been told I was to receive 6 that there are 5 strokes to go, then 4, an so on – it seems in the cold light of day that one could cope with 6 of anything, but at the end just 1 stroke seemed insurmountable to cope with.
We / we talked a lot about me crying and that ultimate release of emotion and submission to You. i have never tried to be the big tough macho character, but tears have just not featured in a session, ever, – it has been close when i have been on the edge, but i guess my reactions have stopped the activity of other Mistresses in the past and that was the difference with You. As a true sadist and as a true ‘partner’ in this quest/fulfillment of pain, You took it that extra step and well…..! It was special that this emotion was with You, as there was no embarrassment just gratitude to be there with You.
So normally that would have been the end, but to share the next day and a half with You was great fun and the trust You put in me cannot be underestimated – Thank You.
|
